Dear Heavenly Father,
I am SO done living my own life.
I am SO done living a lukewarm life.
I’m so tired of failing & I’m so fed up with my sins.
I’m tired of being defeated in my daily battles and struggles.
I’m tired of fighting against my flesh & making poor decisions.
I feel like every-time I try to take 3 steps forward closer to You,
the enemy is constantly pulling my flesh down and then I take 10 steps backward.Why is this SO hard?
Father would You give me the strength everyday to walk in Your ways.
Would You search me, test me, and make my heart pure so that I may see You..
Would help me strive to enter that narrow gates of Your heavenly kingdom?
Because I know many will find it, but only a few will be able to enter it.
And I want to be those few who will enter it.
I desire to stand before You my Lord, my God, my King on that judgement day and hear Your words and say,“Well done my good and faithful servant.”
Please Father, hear my cry. Hear my prayer. Take my life and take full control of me. I want to spend eternity with You. I want to be blameless and holy before Your coming. I want to be set apart and be distinguished as Your Child. Give me the desires of Your heart and plant them in my heart so that my outmost desires are all about You and Your works. Just like what Apostle Paul said in Galatians 2:20“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
my life right now
I wake up every morning hoping for a better day, I wake up every morning thinking things will turn over, I wake up every morning and things haven’t changed! … For the last 4 years i’ve dealt with more then i ever thought I would have to. Parents constantly fighting, blowing each others brains out verbally and physically. My life has been a roller coaster and i want to get off this ride! .. I’m sick of waking up to swearing and yelling, i’m sick of the fights. I am sick of seeing my 14 year old sister stare at my parents in disgust, i’m sick of meaningless tears! i am taught to honour my father and mother but how can i do that when they are being so wicked! how can i turn my last cheek to only know i will once again get slapped. I am called garbage, no good, useless, pig and an idiot. Where do i find the strength to go along and live through this i have no clue as their child what i’ve done to deserve this, yes i forget to do my chores, yes i forget to put my dishes in the dishwasher, yes i may not manage my time well enough to fit cleaning the washroom and doing the laundry in my schedule but what gives you the right as my parents to call me that. As i watch my sister pack up her stuff to leave what we call home i can’t help but feel overwhelmed and angry. We don’t deserve to be treated this way no one does. I don’t know what to do anymore i feel like this is my breaking point, i can’t take another punch and nor can my sisters. Something needs to change because there is no way i can live and watch my sisters live through this abuse.
About me
I am young and strong, a sister and a daughter, a student and a employee but most important i am a child of God. A new creation. Iv got a whole lot of life left to live, let it be full of laughs, love and growth .. This is who i am
